I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
