she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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