Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
