is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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