A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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