as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
