Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
