im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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