i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
