marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
