dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Come on in and take your pants off
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