Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
