this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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