man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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