Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
