is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
it's like heaven, but drunker
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
