Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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