Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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