She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
operation have a gay friend backfired
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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