I am puke
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
