i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
