My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize