Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
