I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
