Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
