its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
she smelled like a LAN party
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
