sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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