"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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