Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize