She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
