No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My liver just broke up with me...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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