i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Houston, we have a blender
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Mom said you looked used
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
