I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
