3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
