To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
