Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
