omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
