Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
