Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
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Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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