yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Randomize
