i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
