Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
