Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
