Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You work out of a Hotel?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
