This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
