He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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