The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
