Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
