Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
