and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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