It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I can text with my tongue
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
