is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
