Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
