Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize