he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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