i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
