You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize