I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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