A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
