is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
