I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
