You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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