Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
