he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
