ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
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I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
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Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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