Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
