He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
