My cat gives me a boner
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
